T-1 Goblin Warren Sanitization Unit


3’ tall robot with wolverine claws. unpackaged from a crate “found” on the docks of rivelda. after some poking around by kip, it retracted its claws, a well-modulated voice said “thank you for purchasing a T-1 Goblin Warren Sanitization Unit”, and small but powerful floodlights rotated up from behind its shoulders and lit the dark warehouse. was unresponsive to further exploration, implied invitations, and even poking with a spear. when last of party left warehouse to investigate murloc, it apparently climbed out of its crate and followed them. as the party’s movements broke into the chaos of combat, one abruptly made a bee-line sprint for the murloc, leaping and clinging like a gecko to the side of the boat it was on, scrambling over the side as the combat ended in a bolt of lightning, at which point one stood silent and motionless until the last of the party left the boat to negotiate the purchase of another. one contributed to the negotiation with a CD-quality reproduction of the dwarf’s comment that they heard the boat was haunted.

one remains unclear on what the captain could possibly have against the dwarf’s pants.

2/21/12 update — one exhibited further trouble with linguistic subtlety. one apparently lacks conscious control of his floodlights but has a precise, quantitative sense of distances and directions. a demon scratching audibly at the underside of a trapdoor is insufficient stimulus to trigger combat mode (eyes go red, claws extend), but being attacked by said demon is.

3/6/12 update — when hailed by a kobold in an alley, one called him by name, and observed that he had passed the ma’abu tribe’s rite of passage to adulthood since last seen. the kobold remarked on one’s lack of war paint, which was news to one, prompting self-examination. close examination revealed paint residue in creases of the gussets between one’s armor plates. the kobold mentioned “rockwell”, prompting one to announce in a well-modulated sales voice that “rockwell security solutions provides a complete line of military, police, and security automatons for all of your enforcement needs.” when the topic of killing goblins came up, one said he was programmed to kill “goblins, small humanoids, and comment”, but was confused by the question when asked to explain “and comment”. one seemed confused by everyone’s panicked non-cooperation with the retrieval droid that came to collect and refurbish him, but eventually was persuaded to flee, and repeated their earlier instruction to “go hide in the boat for 2 hours”.

5/7/12 update — one has made a few unusual comments about log traps — he reported that a corpse found several sessions ago with a wound to the ribs had been “killed by a log trap”, and later commented that his own ribs were in need of replacement, due to being killed by a log trap himself. he was confused when it was pointed out that his ribs were not only intact but newer and shinier than the rest of him, as his “check ribs” internal trouble light would surely have been reset upon replacement. he also thought it odd that he could remember a certain amount of hardware and software work done by the kobold tribe that found him, his service manual states clearly that complete refurbishment of a T-1 includes a memory wipe.

7/3/12 update — one’s original body was extensively damaged, and relevant parts of one’s audio service manual seem to have been overwritten with recordings of kobolds quibbling over how best to access one’s audio service manual. in the absence of a “qualified technician”, the party pays for kipyip and others to rebuild one in an inverted “6 million dollar man” story — “we can rebuild him — we have the technology… ok we don’t have the technology but we can rebuild him.” one is awkwardly adapting to his new body, primarily by complaining of not having one (none of his self-diagnostic sensors are reporting back intact body parts). he has accidentally found that his climbing pads have been replaced with sharp climbing claws, that he floats, that he can ball up and roll as fast as a trotting horse, and that his retracting blades have been replaced with decidedly manual blades. the town guard may have been the wrong person to mention the “kill the harbormaster” plan to.


Avergene djkester freitz